In Korean tradition the youngest person at the table grills the meat. At a grill house the meat arrives raw and the people at the table cook it themselves on a grill set into the middle of it, so somebody has to. That somebody will not be you. You are the visitor, you get treated as a guest, and the tongs stay on the far side of the grill. Reach across and take them anyway. The tradition is thinning out, which is part of why the table will be surprised when you step into it, though the surprise is not really the point. Picking up the tongs is the difference between reading that a custom exists and standing inside it for five minutes. Most etiquette advice written for visitors is defensive, a list of ways to avoid getting something wrong. This is the opposite kind of tip, and the fastest way I know to stop being a spectator at somebody else's dinner. Who actually ends up doing the grilling? December 2022, a company dinner, written up afterwards in a national daily . The m...
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